You’ve probably found yourself in the same situation. You communicate with someone, and they completely misinterpret what you’re trying to say.
Or they communicate with you, and you completely misinterpret what they’re trying to say.
We call this Story.
What is Story?
In life, there is what happens, and the Story you tell yourself about what happens, and, frankly, Story runs the show.
We give every situation meaning based on the Story we tell ourselves about it, and the more awareness we can gain around what our Stories are and why they form as they do, the better we’ll be at dealing with problems.
If you’re in a management position, you’ve probably found it overwhelming at times to try to understand what everyone needs in order to help them thrive. And if you’re being managed by someone, you may notice your levels of engagement at work decrease and increase in proportion to how you feel about your boss.
Well, we can help.
In the entanglement of trying to lead well and trying to get what we need, there is a whole lot of…you guessed it…Story!
The interesting thing about our Strengths and our Stories is that they’re connected. Since our Strengths are like filters through which we see the world, they are also giving color to our Stories.
If we go back to our video, Samir’s Story is that his boss doesn’t like him because she only talks to him when he makes a mistake. He may have a Strength like Significance, which has him feel like he needs to know he’s being a positive contribution, and she’s not meeting this need.
His boss may have a lot of Executing Strengths, like Achiever, Responsibility and Focus, which have her put high expectations on people and not take time to stop to acknowledge good work because she’s so focused on the next achievement. Her intention is surely not to make Samir feel he’s not liked, and it wasn’t her Story either.
Change your Story, change your world.
When two people have very different Stories, things can get a little messy. It’s important to clarify and clean up what our Stories are in order to get what we need in our relationships - and also not assume the worst about people.
The difference that this makes will improve our relationships, engagement, and ultimately our performance! To learn how to never let Stories get in the way of what’s important to you, sign up for How To Talk About It.LEARN HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT