Trybal’s Best Posts of 2017 & Changes for 2018

Trybal’s Best Posts of 2017 & Changes for 2018

Happy New Year! We hope everyone’s year has started off well. If it’s been rocky so far, don’t worry—there’s plenty of time to get back on track. 2017 was a good year for us at Trybal for many reasons. Perhaps our favorite was the launch of several new courses, including our Conversation Mechanics course, How to Talk About It. We’ve been delighted with the great feedback and the positive changes our clients are making to unleash the vibe of their Trybs. And, we’d be remiss not to mention our founder, Alexsys Thompson’s big debut! After a decade and a half of practice, workshops, and facilitation on leadership and the importance of gratitude, Alexsys designed and published The Trybal Gratitude Journal. This tool was designed with all the creativity, love, and mastery she’s known for. So far, it’s been a smashing success and has received excellent reviews, including endorsements from best-selling authors. Alexsys—we’re proud of you and can’t wait to see what you create this year! To honor 2017, here’s a round-up of some of our most popular posts for the year. If you missed any of them, we highly recommend you take a peak. We worked hard to create content that is practical and helpful for you in your every day life. First, we’d like to share some changes we’ll be making in 2018. In the first quarter of the year, we’ll be creating some awesome new resources for our clients, and hopefully some fun new content for the general public. Because of that, we’ll be reducing the number of posts we’re producing for the blog from weekly to...
The #1 Thing Sabotaging Your Conversations & How to Fix It

The #1 Thing Sabotaging Your Conversations & How to Fix It

What are identity concerns? Identity concerns are the internal questions that arise and make us feel attacked when faced with tough conversations. We race through all that’s going on around us, all we can remember about the situation being discussed, the data points we have about the person talking with us, and perhaps most important all the questions we have about ourselves. Identity concerns look like the following: Why are they saying this to me? What do they think of me? What do others think of me? What are they NOT saying? Am I good enough? Am I worthy of this relationship, this job, this opportunity? Am I capable? As the questions swirl in our head, anxiety grows, and we began to move along the spectrum of fight or flight. Our body tenses and emotions take over. Our ability to hold a quality conversation diminishes as we get lost in our stories. These thoughts complicate the situation and inhibit our ability to be truly present and engaged in the conversation at hand. We introduce dynamics that cloud our judgement and prevent moving the conversation toward resolution and the outcome we truly want. Dealing with our identity concerns helps us get back in conversation and keep communication flowing.  It helps us move from a place of blame and judgement to contribution and mutual purpose. Start by naming your identity concerns. What questions or concerns about yourself are popping up most and generating emotions which are in the way of dialogue? Look for patterns:  Is there a recurring trigger that generates the concerns? What personal filters are you applying to how...
5 Steps for Successful Email Communication

5 Steps for Successful Email Communication

Get Out of Your Stories Emails are dangerous because of the gap in communication elements. No tone, no body language, no context. As humans, our first instinct is to create a story to give us perspective on the message. This is how we decide our boss is fuming mad when we get a one-liner email. Or, how we decide Susan has too much time on her hands when she sends a four-paragraph email, the first and last of which are more like engaging in small talk. If you aren’t in face to face dialogue with the other person, you really don’t know.  Here are 5 easy steps for successful email communication. 1. Stop with the stories Take the actual message for what it is. If it’s not clear or context and perspective matter to your next action, clean it up first. Pick up the phone or go see the sender. Don’t be the person creating this week’s office drama because of a story you made up because you were too lazy to get the facts. 2. Know Yourself Take 5 minutes and look at your inbox. What details about the emails you process each day make it more or less likely you’ll engage? What makes it easiest or hardest for you to take action? Whose emails do you like most and whose do you like least? Why? (other than you just don’t like the message/data they’re sending) For example, I personally like emails with the specific required action stated first and a bullet point list if necessary.  Support or background info is OK, and I want it last with...
How to Have Awkward Conversations At Work

How to Have Awkward Conversations At Work

Addressing Policy Issues with a Direct Report In case you couldn’t guess what month it is, just walk into any major retail store. The arrival of spooky, creepy, and haunting decor is the hallmark of the month of October in the United States. Halloween reminds us that there are scary elements to this world and the worlds beyond. So, what better time to talk about one of the scariest things you may have to do this Halloween season – engage an employee in a policy discussion! EEK! If you’re in a leadership role, talking to your employees about policy issues such as hygiene, dress code, poor work performance etc. comes with the territory. When it comes to sharing this news, there is an effective way to handle the situation… and a not so effective way. While there are many versions of effective and (especially) ineffective, the framework of these two scenarios remains relatively static. In one scenario, the tools of enacting a tough conversation are implemented (Hint: effective). In the other, they aren’t- it’s really that simple (Hint: ineffective). Taking the “Boo!” Out of Feedback When you are delivering feedback to a direct report, especially if it’s negative, it’s best not to shock them with the news. Most people don’t enjoy having these conversations, much less feeling as though they are out of the blue. Base your approach on the severity of the infraction and the specific employee. For example, if a high performer with little to no mishaps comes in wearing jeans when they should be wearing slacks, there is no need to make a big production of it. This employee rarely, if ever, does...
[Lucrative Lookback] 2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

[Lucrative Lookback] 2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

In this Lucrative Lookback, we’ll share 2 ways you can conquer your inner commentator. You know, the inner voice that goes through all your lunch options during the mid-morning meeting. Here are 2 ways to successfully hush your inner commentator: 1. Acknowledge & Accept It. We all have an inner voice, constantly making noise inside our skulls. Sometimes it’s our best friend, telling us we look way better in that pair of shoes than we do. Other times, it’s tearing us down and acting like a bit of jerk. Almost all of the time, it’s working hard to distract us from being present during conversations, especially Tough Conversations. Of course, those are the ones we should be most present in. Most of us try to control it, getting into an argument with it. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, the harder we try to calm it down, the louder our inner commentator gets. Instead of trying to control it, the best way to deal with our inner commentator is to acknowledge we have one, then accept it. The idea is to quiet it, not remove it. Take this moment to let your inner commentator know you’re on to it, and you’re turning the volume down. 2. Use the Skills for Being Present. There are 3 skills we can use to keep ourselves in the moment and out of our heads: 1. Inquire, 2. Paraphrase, 3. Acknowledge. When we Inquire, we’re tapping into that all important communication tool, curiosity, and asking questions we genuinely want the answer to. “How do you see it?” “What details do you have I may...
Hurricane Harvey: What We Can Learn From it and How to Help

Hurricane Harvey: What We Can Learn From it and How to Help

Our hearts go out to all of our friends, family, and clients in Texas who are coping with Hurricane Harvey, the event of a lifetime. Personally, I am very blessed to be in Georgetown, Texas with my family and with no negative impact. In the absence of being able to be on the ground or in a boat, we have donated to several great charities that are providing relief. See the links below if you feel moved to help from afar. Throughout this experience, I was reminded repeatedly that there is so much more that unites us than divides us. That our hearts and souls are the threads that bind us. The political nonsense and labeling on everyone’s social media stream are now gone. In their place are resources, love, and compassion. I find myself wondering how to be a part of maintaining this level of care, once the crisis has passed. The importance of clear communication has also been highlighted. When someone was asking for help in the over 2,000 rescues (as of writing this), they needed to be very clear on where they were so they could be located. With the many sources of support that were coming through, clarity of message was crucial for resources to be accessed. The Cajun Navy even had walkie talkie apps that were specific to them completing their job. There are even systems in place to check-in as “safe” so your loved ones can see you are okay, even when you may not be able to communicate directly. Early on, the lack of alignment between state and local government about whether...