3 Steps to Get Your Communication Back on Track

3 Steps to Get Your Communication Back on Track

Any of the following familiar? You feel more like you’re talking at the team instead of with the team. The team complains about communication. Not enough of the right and too much of the wrong. You get 100+ emails a day, they never stop and the only thing you have to show for it is increased anxiety and frustration You over-communicate initiatives, goals, and updates with minimal results Seek first to understand, then to be understood. – Stephen Covey Try the following 3 steps: #1 Know Thyself. We each have our own unique filter for how we see, hear, and understand the world.  Genetics, talents, experience, education, situation, and motivation are unique for each of us.  At Trybal Performance, we utilize the StrengthsFinder tool to help individuals define and understand their filters for the world around them.  Regardless of the tool you use, find something to help you gain insight into you.  Ask for feedback from those around you.  Reflect on when your communication was most successful and least successful.  Get curious and seek to understand you. #2 Know Thy Team Make it a point to understand the individuals on your team and help them understand you.  Often, we assume our filter is right and everyone else should have the same.  Based on those assumptions we communicate with little serious thought to how those around us receive and process the information we’re delivering.  We also don’t clearly help those around us understand how we see, hear, and understand what they’re sending our way.  Openly discuss and evaluate team communication.  What works and what doesn’t?  Get curious and seek to...
How Strengths Can Transform Communication [A Podcast with Lexy Thompson and Lisa Cummings]

How Strengths Can Transform Communication [A Podcast with Lexy Thompson and Lisa Cummings]

Strengths Focused Communication – Interview by Lisa Cummings of Lead Through Strengths Lexy Thompson of Trybal Performance had the chance to talk with Lisa Cummings on Lisa’s show “Lead Through Strengths” a few weeks ago. Strengths-focused communication is an integral part of what takes a team from being benchwarmers to starters! We are fortunate enough to include the link to hear the podcast and a few excerpts from the conversation focused on teams, gratitude and interacting with others in professional settings. http://traffic.libsyn.com/100kcareer/036-Lexy-Thompson.mp3 Podcast: Play in new window | Download About these two business leaders: Lexy’s Top 10 StrengthsFinder Talent Themes: Strategic, Connectedness, Futuristic, Intellection, Command, Input, Activator, Ideation, Self-Assurance, Relator Lisa’s Top 10 StrengthsFinder Talent Themes: Strategic, Maximizer, Positivity, Individualization, Woo, Futuristic, Focus, Learner, Communication, Significance We want to thank Lisa for being such a great interviewer and letting Lexy and cover many Strengths related topics for individuals, managers, and teams. Here are a few excerpts from the podcast: Self-Awareness leads to Confidence and Leadership for Mid-Level Managers Lexy Thompson: You and I do our work at that mid-level management often times, and that’s often a really good space… to start trying to get comfortable with what’s uncomfortable for them. Lisa Cummings: I think that’s really smart because a lot of people listening are people managers and they want to be in executive roles and I could absolutely agree that that does seem to be a distinguishing factor, someone able to go in and really work in those situations confidently. There are also a lot of listeners who are individual contributors trying to be promoted into manager roles and that is about the number one complaint...
The #1 Reason a Good Conversation Goes Bad

The #1 Reason a Good Conversation Goes Bad

Sometimes we’re so concerned with how the conversation is going to go, we forget to think about what happens after the conversation! It’s likely we’re hoping some change will come about. We want someone to stop leaving their garbage all over the break room, or for the next big launch to increase profits. We can have good conversations all day long (in fact, we sincerely hope you do!), however they won’t amount to much if that’s all there is. The #1 reason good conversations go bad is a lack of results. The garbage is still everywhere and our sales actually decreased. Whatever result we were looking for didn’t happen, and suddenly that good conversation feels like a waste of time. How do we get the results we want? Accountability. There’s that blasted word again. We keep using it, and it’s for a good reason. Accountability produces results - it’s what makes our conversations matter. There’s a reason “performance” is in our company name! How do we hold each other accountable? At the end of every conversation, it’s important to discuss who will do what, by when, who will follow up, by when and how. By answering those questions, we know what steps we are taking to move forward, when they’ll be complete, and who will help ensure it all gets done. What do we do if something unexpected happens? Life is unpredictable, and any number of things can throw a wrench into our otherwise perfect plan. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of choosing accountability is the responsibility to actively communicate obstacles. The person assigned to the task...
2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

Earlier this week, we talk about what our inner commentator is, and the first step toward quieting it so we can be present during conversations. Well, we decided we should share 2 more ways you can conquer that inner voice. You know, the one going through all your lunch options during the mid-morning meeting. Here are 2 ways to successfully hush your inner commentator: 1. Acknowledge & Accept It. We all have an inner voice, constantly making noise inside our skulls. Sometimes it’s our best friend, telling us we look way better in that pair of shoes than we do. Other times, it’s tearing us down and acting like a bit of jerk. Almost all of the time, it’s working hard to distract us from being present during conversations, especially Tough Conversations. Of course, those are the ones we should be most present in. Most of us try to control it, getting into an argument with it. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, the harder we try to calm it down, the louder our inner commentator gets. Instead of trying to control it, the best way to deal with our inner commentator is to acknowledge we have one, then accept it. The idea is to quiet it, not remove it. Take this moment to let your inner commentator know you’re on to it, and you’re turning the volume down. 2. Use the Skills for Being Present. There are 3 skills we can use to keep ourselves in the moment and out of our heads: 1. Inquire, 2. Paraphrase, 3. Acknowledge. When we Inquire, we’re tapping into that all important...
3 Ways to Clean Up Your Mess When You Say the Wrong Thing   

3 Ways to Clean Up Your Mess When You Say the Wrong Thing  

Being human means being imperfect. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to say the wrong thing. Even if you do, everything is still, as Marie Forleo says, “FIGUREOUTABLE”! So what do we do when we’ve said the wrong thing and fear we’ve hurt a relationship? Here are 3 ways to clean up your mess when you’ve said the wrong thing: 1. Acknowledge the impact. Whatever you said or did, regardless of what your intention was, had an impact on the other person, and that impact is negative. Acknowledge the impact. Ask more about it so you understand it in full. 2. Apologize. There is nothing like a straightforward apology without any excuses attached to it. “I’m sorry, but…” doesn’t work. It’s justifying. Neither does, “I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt.” It’s removing responsibility from your shoulders. Look them in the eyes, perhaps pause for a second so they know what you’re about to say is serious, and say, “I’m sorry I…” and leave it at that. 3. Try again. When we say the wrong thing at Trybal, we call it an Etch-A-Sketch Moment. It’s when something doesn’t come out quite right, or we forget to employ an important skill to having an effective conversation. The best thing to do when we’re having an Etch-a-Sketch Moment is to acknowledge it and then request a do-over (the same way you shake up an Etch-A-Sketch and start over). This metaphor illustrates the fact that we don’t have to be perfect, that we can try again. Most people will happily grant you a do-over when they see your heart is earnest. Progress...
The 4 Reasons It’s Time to Let it Go

The 4 Reasons It’s Time to Let it Go

Depending on your Strengths, you may naturally feel the inclination to speak up about something that’s tough or, alternately, bottle it up inside. Based on the situation, talking about it is not always the best answer. Sometimes it’s better to simply change your behavior. As we know, actions speak louder than words. Though it can seem difficult to know when to speak up or when to let it go, we’ve created a list to make it a bit clearer! Here are 4 reasons it’s time to let it go: 1. You don’t have a purpose that works. Lacking a mutually beneficial purpose when you choose to have a conversation is a sure-fire way to further tensions. Before you decide to speak up, ask yourself, “Why do I want to talk about it? What outcome am I hoping for? Will the other person see the benefit of this conversation for themselves or the relationship?” If you can’t answer those questions, you probably don’t have a purpose that works. 2. You’re trying to change the other person. We can’t change others. The only person we can change is ourselves! If your sole purpose for talking about it is changing the other person, you might want to reconsider. 3. You just want to tell the other person off. Telling people off doesn’t work in the long run. Sometimes you want to say exactly what you’re thinking because it feels good to let off some steam; however, it only hurts the future of the relationship when you’re reckless with your words. 4. You aren’t considering timing. When we have something important to say,...