The #1 Reason a Good Conversation Goes Bad

The #1 Reason a Good Conversation Goes Bad

Sometimes we’re so concerned with how the conversation is going to go, we forget to think about what happens after the conversation! It’s likely we’re hoping some change will come about. We want someone to stop leaving their garbage all over the break room, or for the next big launch to increase profits. We can have good conversations all day long (in fact, we sincerely hope you do!), however they won’t amount to much if that’s all there is. The #1 reason good conversations go bad is a lack of results. The garbage is still everywhere and our sales actually decreased. Whatever result we were looking for didn’t happen, and suddenly that good conversation feels like a waste of time. How do we get the results we want? Accountability. There’s that blasted word again. We keep using it, and it’s for a good reason. Accountability produces results - it’s what makes our conversations matter. There’s a reason “performance” is in our company name! How do we hold each other accountable? At the end of every conversation, it’s important to discuss who will do what, by when, who will follow up, by when and how. By answering those questions, we know what steps we are taking to move forward, when they’ll be complete, and who will help ensure it all gets done. What do we do if something unexpected happens? Life is unpredictable, and any number of things can throw a wrench into our otherwise perfect plan. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of choosing accountability is the responsibility to actively communicate obstacles. The person assigned to the task...
2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

2 Sure-Fire Ways to Quiet Your Inner Commentator

Earlier this week, we talk about what our inner commentator is, and the first step toward quieting it so we can be present during conversations. Well, we decided we should share 2 more ways you can conquer that inner voice. You know, the one going through all your lunch options during the mid-morning meeting. Here are 2 ways to successfully hush your inner commentator: 1. Acknowledge & Accept It. We all have an inner voice, constantly making noise inside our skulls. Sometimes it’s our best friend, telling us we look way better in that pair of shoes than we do. Other times, it’s tearing us down and acting like a bit of jerk. Almost all of the time, it’s working hard to distract us from being present during conversations, especially Tough Conversations. Of course, those are the ones we should be most present in. Most of us try to control it, getting into an argument with it. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, the harder we try to calm it down, the louder our inner commentator gets. Instead of trying to control it, the best way to deal with our inner commentator is to acknowledge we have one, then accept it. The idea is to quiet it, not remove it. Take this moment to let your inner commentator know you’re on to it, and you’re turning the volume down. 2. Use the Skills for Being Present. There are 3 skills we can use to keep ourselves in the moment and out of our heads: 1. Inquire, 2. Paraphrase, 3. Acknowledge. When we Inquire, we’re tapping into that all important...
3 Ways to Clean Up Your Mess When You Say the Wrong Thing   

3 Ways to Clean Up Your Mess When You Say the Wrong Thing  

Being human means being imperfect. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to say the wrong thing. Even if you do, everything is still, as Marie Forleo says, “FIGUREOUTABLE”! So what do we do when we’ve said the wrong thing and fear we’ve hurt a relationship? Here are 3 ways to clean up your mess when you’ve said the wrong thing: 1. Acknowledge the impact. Whatever you said or did, regardless of what your intention was, had an impact on the other person, and that impact is negative. Acknowledge the impact. Ask more about it so you understand it in full. 2. Apologize. There is nothing like a straightforward apology without any excuses attached to it. “I’m sorry, but…” doesn’t work. It’s justifying. Neither does, “I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt.” It’s removing responsibility from your shoulders. Look them in the eyes, perhaps pause for a second so they know what you’re about to say is serious, and say, “I’m sorry I…” and leave it at that. 3. Try again. When we say the wrong thing at Trybal, we call it an Etch-A-Sketch Moment. It’s when something doesn’t come out quite right, or we forget to employ an important skill to having an effective conversation. The best thing to do when we’re having an Etch-a-Sketch Moment is to acknowledge it and then request a do-over (the same way you shake up an Etch-A-Sketch and start over). This metaphor illustrates the fact that we don’t have to be perfect, that we can try again. Most people will happily grant you a do-over when they see your heart is earnest. Progress...