Has anyone ever charged into your office when you’re in a really good mood to simply just ruin the moment for you?
It may be true that there is an important issue for the both of you to deal with, like sales and operations working in sync, but the way they’re handling it is not helping you see that they’re on your team at all.
It feels like they are just out to get you.
If you ever feel that way, within your own organization, you’re not alone. Most of the time, it’s because people are not equipped with the tools to have effective conversations.
The first step when initiating a tough conversation.
The truth is, there is a skill set required to having tough conversations, and one of the first steps is making sure the person you’re bringing up a problem with knows you’re on their side (it’s what was missing in the video you just watched).
The way you let someone know you’re on their side, that it’s a safe space to have dialogue, is by stating the mutually beneficial purpose of initiating the conversation with them in the first place. This helps them drop their defenses, and they are more open to hearing what you have to say.
When you are clear on the mutually beneficial purpose, you’re ready to initiate your tough conversation.
Instead of Sarah charging into her colleague’s office with a commanding tone, saying “We need to talk!”, she could have first asked if her colleague was free and then stated she’s bringing up the topic in order for them to work better together as the company continues to grow.
Her colleague would have been much less likely to say, “You’re gonna just have to deal with it!” if Sarah created a context that had them be partners in the problem.
So, what about you?
Are you having a hard time working through tough situations because you’re omitting the part about how you’re actually on the other person’s team? That you care for them? That you’re bringing up the tough topic now so that the future is better than it would have ever been if you didn’t bring it up? How can you create more safety in your relationships so that the other person knows you want them to win, too?
There’s a whole lot more where that come from when you sign up for our course, How To Talk About It! Don’t miss the opportunity to bring the relationships on your team to the next level. If you’re chasing big goals, conflict is going to happen.
Click here to learn more and register. Deal with conflict the best way you can with skills that will last a lifetime!LEARN HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT